i dug for gold

now i ain't no gold digger, but i'll admit that i did once dig for gold.

it bored the shit out of me.

CE is not just the content editor of my life's stories, he's also my moral barometer! so before digging, i asked him, "would you still like me if i was a gold digger?" to which he basically said, "eh." that was all i needed to hear. he may as well have said, "i would like you even more if you were a gold digger!"

so i went out with this dude. let's call him WC. he lives in cali. flies to nyc frequently. he's very nice, very chill, very west coast. he was the cfo of a company that was acquired by a multi-billion dollar media conglomerate. when he got the ax, he also got a couple million dollars.

we went to dinner. he told me all about his vanilla life and his vanilla family, his all-american high school years and southern california college experience. we talked about work and the weather, the bread that came with our dinner and compulsive behavior, his travels to exotic places like the grand canyon...and the whole time i was thinking, 'damn, these pork chops are amazing!'

i tried to imagine sex with him, but he made me feel afuckingsexual. he made me feel like men and women everywhere should just be friends. he made me feel like he deserved better than just some girl who was seeing if she had it in her to be a gold digger.