the bro hug

it should have been my first red flag
when all my friends started giving me the bro hug
instead of the cheek kiss
or maybe when my guitarist said
"no offense, but you're not really girly"
or maybe when i started using the phrase
"tight as balls"

the thing is that
i do have (i think) a good number of very female qualities
i wear makeup
every day
when i have my period
it's like a stab wound between my legs
i talk to dogs
in a funny baby voice
i play with my hair
when i can't crack my knuckles anymore

so why did you all start giving me the bro hug?!