goddamn that fucking band i used to play in

i feel a little lost now. i am just a regular girl who works a regular job and comes home and eats dinner and watches tv with my dog and listens to the rain and thinks about chord changes and what could be sung over them. i think about writing and photoshop and conservation and social work and marine biology and what i need to do at work tomorrow. i look at the books on my floor that are supposed to provide me with life-changing epiphanies but i don't read them. i look at the caller id on my phone but never answer or return anyone's phone calls. i think about school and fulfillment and sinus infections and sex. i think about god and meditation and telekinesis. i think about grace. i think about gratitude. i think about how much i like sharpies but how they're not practical because they bleed through most paper. i think about how RS has my handwriting tatooed on his chest. i think about my sex-filled, drug-filled summer and my moment on the brooklyn bridge. i think about the people that make me feel my mortality.