holidays (and our inevitable hatred for them)

well
i was gonna write about holidays and why we hate them
but i changed my mind because
everybody fucking writes about holidays and why we hate them
we all have our reasons -
things like "what exactly do you do for a living?"
and "if you had gone to business school..."
or one year on this holiest of turkey days your girlfriend tried to have the "where is this going?" talk with you which led to the "i want to have children by the time i'm..." talk with you which led to the "i don't think this is working out/how could you say something like that" talk with you
or -

oh shit
see, i started writing about it anyway

what i really wanted to say was
here are some of the subjects of upcoming posts:

1. the reese's peanut butter egg
2. why i can never breathe through both nostrils simultaneously
3. do you smoke weed?
4. the boy who told me i wasn't "girlfriend material"

i actually just made that list as a reminder to myself
not for you
sorry if you wasted your time reading it