fruit vs. vegetable

i don't know what politicians in new jersey were thinking when they decided to spend valuable legislative time mulling over the possibility of making the tomato their state vegetable, but i really must insist that the tomato is a fruit.

the argument is that a vegetable tariff passed in the late 19th century included tomatoes, therefore making it legally a vegetable. it is acknowledged, however, that it botanically remains a fruit. so let me ask this: if the tomato is botanically a fruit, but can be legally deemed a vegetable, who's to say that i'm not biologically human after the queen of england's dubbed me a monkey? i've been likened to a monkey several times in my life, so why the fuck not?

i'd also like to point out that the tomato is the state fruit AND state vegetable of arkansas. way to be decisive, as well as prolong the skepticism that intelligent people come from your state. okay, okay, i know. maya angelou and johnny cash are both from arkansas, but really.